Annie-Girl

So my little baby - who was actually not a little baby at all - turned 4. It's strange to even write that, as if I'm starting some fictional story. There's no way that 4 years have already gone by. I feel like I should still be waiting for her to be born.

Life changed so dramatically when she came that there's no way to bridge my life before her and life now with two kids. My life has been lived as two different people - me as not-mom and me as mom. When I answer questionaires about what my hobbies are I still write 'reading and scrapbooking'. But do you know how long it's been since I read Jane Eyre ? That's right - 4 years!

I know it's going to change as the kids get older, and I'll be able to merge the two people back together into one person. But I'm not so sure that's all that appealing, because it will mean that my kids aren't little and needy anymore. As much as I love to look at Annie's baby pictures, I also hate it! I feel like I've forgotten so much already. Like a few weeks ago when somebody was remembering how Annie used to call ice-cream "hymoon" - it was almost like remembering a dream. I had completely forgotten to think about that! And there are so many things I'm forgetting to remember.

So I better write down a few things about my 4 year old before she's 14 and isn't telling me 5 times a day that she loves me "more than everything in the world, every night and every day, for ever and ever until we go to heaven." Her exact words.

So... she got to take ballet classes this spring, thanks to Uncle Chuck and Aunt Missy, and was such a good little ballerina. At least for the first half hour of class each week. That seemed to be about her limit for taking orders from somebody else - a very new and 'edifying' experince for her.

With her new ballet bag she got for her birthday and "Crocs like Ally"

It's her cheif joy in life to have sleep-overs, and she begs every day to be able to invite somebody over or to be allowed to spend the night at somebody else's house. A couple weeks ago, when I went to pick her up after a sleep-over with Grandma Cook and a day with cousins, she absolutely wilted the second I walked in the door. It just sucked all the joy right out of her to think her fun was over. But then she got invited to spend the next 2 nights with Grandma Beck and the other set of cousins who were visitng for the week. 3 nights in a row that she was away! And it was glorious fun for her!

She just taught herself how to snap her fingers and whistle. She usually only takes one nap a week. She loves to paint and swim. Last week she learned how to pump on the swing at the cabin and now she'll go outside by herself and swing for half an hour. And she's really into making up her own Bible verses, which almost invariably end with "until we go to heaven."

So Annie, I love you with all my mom heart, every day and every night, for ever and ever, until we go to heaven! And even after that.



Me and my "little" 2 month-old baby